5 Minus 1

For those that shared Lindy’s funeral with us, they’ll understand when I say that it a beautiful experience. Her funeral was the most moving, spiritual experience I have ever had. “Spiritual” and “funeral” may not be words people would typically use in the same sentence, but I will. The service was a powerful earthly crescendo fitting for a person that forever changed anyone she touched. The following day, we laid her to rest with the morning fall sun shining bright against the green grass, flowers and fresh morning dew. She would’ve liked that.

I never quite understood the ‘Til Eternity’ inscription Lindy had engraved inside my wedding band before we were married. The ‘Til’ word threw me. I expected to see ‘For Eternity’, not ‘Til Eternity’. The day she passed away I finally got it. Our time here was cut short, but we’ll have eternity together in paradise. I read this now as a reminder that I just have to wait ‘Til Eternity’ to be with her once again. She’ll see me there.

On Friday, it will be four weeks since she passed away. In many ways it feels far longer, in other ways, I’m still waiting for her to come back through the door. Oh, what I would give for that. Most every night she appears in my dreams. I wake up happier when I get to dream of her.

Brooklyn, Max and Samantha are doing quite well considering all that’s happened. They each grieve at different times and we work through those times looking at pictures of Lindy, watching home movies or listening to her read a book (recordable books are wonderful). It’s comforting to the kids to hear their Mom’s voice. It’s comforting for me to hear her voice too. Lindy left a treasure of things for them to remember her by.

The kids will be celebrating birthdays this month. The twins will be four and Brooklyn will be nine. I’m so proud of who they are and look forward to seeing what they become. Lindy’s legacy will live on in them. This whole experience has drawn us closer; and as Brooklyn says “we’re 5 minus 1 now” – a family of 4. We miss the 1 so much. ‘Til eternity’…

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7 Responses to 5 Minus 1

  1. Karen Boersema says:

    Thanks for sharing. Continuing to pray. May God grant you comfort.

  2. Amy Sluiter says:

    Thanks for sharing, Dusty! Yes, the service was a beautiful earthly crescendo, celebrating Lindy’s life and how she positively impacted each one that her life touched! What a great description! Continued prayers for you and the kids as you navigate this life “minus 1.” May God continue to fill you with His strength and hope and peace!

  3. Megan VK says:

    Her funeral was so beautiful. It was surreal but I really felt closer to God that night worshipping with all of you and celebrating a woman who had such a presence here on earth. How hard it must be to try and move forward. Praying for you every day. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been wondering how you all have been doing. God bless you!!

  4. A friend says:

    Thank you, Dusty, for writing. You’ve been on my mind and in my prayers lots since Lindy’s homegoing. At various times this week, but especially today, you and Lindy have both hopped in as a surprise on my thoughts. Finally this evening I had to check your blogs to see if anything had been added. I did not realize that today was exactly 4 weeks. It makes me step back and pray for you and your family all the more. It makes me step back when I read what you wrote, count and cherish my blessings again right now instead of later as we are so often prone to do (so thank you). It makes me smile to know that God brought you to mind so often, that He thinks so highly of Lindy and the two of you that He wants to remind us often, and especially on these “important milestone” days. Don’t worry. He won’t let us forget. It makes me cry to know the huge gap that is left with “5 minus 1″ and I can only imagine just how much you would all want to see her walk back in through that door. But it always makes me grin when I look at Lindy’s picture. She was so brave and she gave and gave. I will never forget Lindy flashing me one of her beautiful smiles as I came into church one day and she said hello. It is permanently etched in my memory. But I want to tell you, Dusty, that you too, have been so brave and so strong and have touched so many lives by your own. Thank you for following hard after God and for sticking with Him through all the tough stuff. Never stop. Thank you for sharing with us both a very spiritual as well as a very emotional journey.
    Love and prayers, always.

  5. Julie Berghorst says:

    Dusty –
    you may not remember me – i only met you and Lindy a few times. (i was dating John Berghorst at the time). But everytime i saw Lindy, her warm personality and welcome smile made me feel less like the outsider. We were so saddened by the news of her passing. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers.

    Julie (and John) Berghorst

  6. Rachel Baird says:

    Hi Dusty — I tried to post a comment a couple of weeks ago, but apparently it didn’t stick, so I’ll try again. You, the kids, your extended family, and friends are on my mind and in my heart every day. Celebrating the kids’ birthdays in October without Lindy must have torn your heart to pieces. In the midst of the grief that can leave you so raw and broken, I pray that you are surrounded by love and that you feel moments of peace and happiness in the holiday season.

  7. Patty Spykstra says:

    Think of you, Lindy and the kids so often! I say a prayer and ask that the Holy Spirit will comfort all of you and bring you joy even in the midst of your loss.
    Because of HIS Promises,
    Patty Spykstra

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