Aliens Amongst You

Right after high school graduation, instead of immediately going to off to college, a friend and I bolted off to backpack Europe for three months.  We zig-zagged Europe, moving from city to city and country to country.  It was every bit as thrilling as it sounds. 

I remember waking up to the sound of the loud train whistle early one morning.  Barely awake, we stepped off our comfortable train car.  There we were in Budapest, Hungary.  The Iron Curtain of Communism literally had just fallen.  And, there we were—aliens in a really foreign place. 

Most everything looked different there.  We didn’t understand anyone and we felt very out of place wherever we went.  People would literally stop and watch us “the Americans” pass by – it was a really weird feeling.  Bryan and I spent several days exploring the gray streets of Budapest.  We were in a surreal reality. 

Dustin Ver Beek, Budapest, 1993

I believe that experience helped prepare me for this incredibly difficult journey with Lindy.  When we stepped off the train car of ‘normal life’ we found ourselves in a reality that very few can understand.  Our lives now are so different, that it’s hard not to feel isolated.  Everything that mattered before doesn’t now and everything that didn’t matter before matters now.  It’s an upside down shake up; that’s the only way to describe it.  Yet, reality calls; life for everyone else goes on as it did before.  And so, we wander around; the aliens amongst you. 

Lindy will make several trips to The University of Michigan in May for various scans and we’ll be meeting with her doctor.  We’ll evaluate the progression of the cancer in her lungs and what to do next.  Please pray for wisdom that we make the appropriate decisions for treatment.  It’s an uneasy/high anxiety time for our family.  

A special thank you to Pastor Scott VanOostendorp from First Reformed Church – Zeeland and Diane Wiersma LMSW, ACSW for walking with us and helping us sort everything out.   We could not do it without you and your council.

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A Picture of the Father’s Love

We were able to go on the Inheritance of Hope Retreat to Disney World earlier this month. We gathered in Orlando with twelve other families; all with a terminally ill parent. The experience was life-changing and it was comforting to be surrounded by others on a similar journey. We were so blessed to be a part of this gathering. The kids were able to experience joy as only Disney can bring and Lindy and I were able to share that with them together. A special thank you to Angie, Michael, (our awesome helpers) the entire Inhertance of Hope organization and their sponsors. Your gift to our family meant more than words could ever do justice.

On the last day of the retreat, we had a moving service led by the Deric and Kristen Milligan, founders of Inheritance of Hope. Kristen has been battling stage IV cancer for nearly seven years. She’s nearing the end of her journey on earth, but she was able to travel to meet with the group the last day. What amazing people. At the end of her talk, she played a video that moved everyone in the room. There was not a dry eye in the house.

Some of you may have heard the story of Dick and Rick Hoyt. They’re a unique father and son team who participate in triathalons. All I can say is watch this short video. This is a beautiful/perfectly fitting picture of how God is with us even when our bodies are broken and frail. We all go through the finish line at different times, but our Father is right there with us as we finish.

Watch the video

Lindy undergoes another stereotactic radiosurgery a.k.a. “Gamma Knife” brain surgery at the University of Michigan Hospital tomorrow. Please pray for peace for her and that the cancer in her brain can be stopped. Join the 24 Hours of prayer for her here.

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Photo Journal – Palm Coast

We were blessed to be able to travel to the Florida for a week of rest mid-January. The memories are too many to list, here’s a short photo journal.

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A Present of the Present

At the end of November we found out that the experimental chemo that Lindy was on did little good for her. We decided to quit the trial since being in Ann Arbor two days a week was getting to be too much for us.  Besides that, she felt miserable most of the time; which is no way to live.   Although this news was discouraging, we still were partially happy that she could be done with this chemo.  You learn to hate the chemo almost as much as the cancer.

Lindy’s on a short hiatus from treatment and will be going back for more scans the end of January.  We’ll decide what to do after that.  For now, Lindy’s doctor advised her to “do those things that she’s always wanted to” since her health will only deteriorate.

Difficult words to hear, but yet good to know we need to seize this time together. It’s like getting a “present of the present” – living each day as they come.  How many people can actually do this? 

We booked a trip to Florida and have made arrangements to rent a beautiful house on the ocean. Lindy made a special video and shared it with the kids this past Saturday.  They were so excited – it was so cool.  The twins will meet Mickey Mouse at Disney for the first time and Lindy will be able to experience that joy with them.  I’m happy that we can do this together – as a family. 

Thank you for your continued prayers and gestures of love.

Family Picture by Brooklyn November 2011

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