The Un-Better Half

Photo Journal – Palm Coast

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Dustin Ver Beek

We were blessed to be able to travel to the Florida for a week of rest mid-January. The memories are too many to list, here’s a short photo journal.

Posted in Memories | Tagged Capturing Memories, Putting Family First | Leave a comment

A Present of the Present

Posted on December 13, 2011 by Dustin Ver Beek

At the end of November we found out that the experimental chemo that Lindy was on did little good for her. We decided to quit the trial since being in Ann Arbor two days a week was getting to be too much for us. Besides that, she felt miserable most of the time; which is no way to live. Although this news was discouraging, we still were partially happy that she could be done with this chemo. You learn to hate the chemo almost as much as the cancer.

Lindy’s on a short hiatus from treatment and will be going back for more scans the end of January. We’ll decide what to do after that. For now, Lindy’s doctor advised her to “do those things that she’s always wanted to” since her health will only deteriorate.

Difficult words to hear, but yet good to know we need to seize this time together. It’s like getting a “present of the present” – living each day as they come. How many people can actually do this?

We booked a trip to Florida and have made arrangements to rent a beautiful house on the ocean. Lindy made a special video and shared it with the kids this past Saturday. They were so excited – it was so cool. The twins will meet Mickey Mouse at Disney for the first time and Lindy will be able to experience that joy with them. I’m happy that we can do this together – as a family.

Thank you for your continued prayers and gestures of love.

Family Picture by Brooklyn November 2011

Posted in Feelings, Living With Cancer | Tagged Clinical Trial, Dr. Schott, Living in the Moment, Putting Family First, Tomorrow is Now | 3 Comments

Chemo Haze

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Dustin Ver Beek

Our home is covered in a chemo haze. So what does that mean?

For me, it’s like having to play a football game with my star quarterback injured and on the bench. I’m out on the field of life trying to keep the ball in the air and everyone moving to the goal line. Meanwhile, life situations and the devil are trying to sack me. I can’t afford to get sacked. I have to keep life going for the family. I must make life as normal as possible for the kids despite extraordinary circumstances. Those that have gone through chemotherapy or had a loved one go through it will understand what I mean. Those that have not, you can take my word for it; chemo royally sucks for everyone involved.

Lindy is feeling progressively worse as the chemo drugs build up in her system. Normal activities are exhausting and overwhelming. She has about two “descent” days a week, the rest are a challenge to get through. If the cancer doesn’t kill you the chemo will. It’s tough to see her like this, but it also lends hope that the drugs are doing something. Pain makes progress (I heard this saying once). Our prayer is that the experimental chemo drug will rid the cancer from her brain and lungs. We should find out if the trial is working the week of Thanksgiving when she has the full scans done.

Our eight year old is processing everything that’s going on around her.
I hate that we have to talk about this; it’s not fair for a little girl to worry about these things.

Right before bed the other night:

Brooklyn: “Is mommy going to die?”

Me: {Stomach drop and pause} “…We all die sometime honey, only God knows when He is going to take us.”

Brooklyn: “I don’t want her to die, I need my mommy.”

Me: “I know honey; I need your mommy too.”

Brooklyn: “Well if God takes mommy I’ll be real mad at Him.”

Me: {Pause} “…Mommy is fighting her hardest to stay with us” “Try to go to sleep and not think about it.”